Moms-to-Be, I am going to speak some truth to you. Knowing these truths will help set you up for a better birth experience and potentially less depression, anxiety, shame and feelings of inadequacy as a new mom.
TRUTH BOTTOM LINE-Being flexible in your expectations of how pregnancy, birth and postpartum goes, not getting attached to there being a right and wrong way, being mindful and open to what works for you, your family and your baby-this is the complete game changer.
Birth Plan?-You mean, “Birth Aspirational Goals?” or “Birth Fantasy?” The word “plan” unfortunately implies a certain amount of control that laboring moms don’t often have over their experience. It is helpful to gather information about choices for birth, while simultaneously not getting too attached to those all coming true. It is the rare birth that goes exactly as planned. Being open and flexible to incorporating new information as it comes leads to less disappointment, trauma and grief later, even if you do end up having an emergency C-section, which no one wants or “plans” for.
Fed Is Best -Most moms underestimate how hard nursing can be and idealize other moms and devalue themselves around feeding their baby. Many moms see nursing as the first test of their motherhood competence. If they struggle or are unable to nurse for any reason, they feel like a failure.They feel they let their baby down and that perhaps this a predictor of how they will show up as a mother going forward. LIES. Nursing can be really hard to do and most moms struggle with it at some point along the way. Asking for support is okay and stopping nursing and/or pumping is okay too. Nursing doesn’t define your worth and success as a mom, but many moms make meaning of it this way and it is misery-making. Also, nursing can hurt (even if you are doing it right). A fed baby is a content baby regardless of how baby gets fed.